Ch. 1.4 – I Can’t Change Who I Am

Dear Diary,

Well, my worst nightmare happened.  We got married.  Don’t get me wrong, Diary.  Jason is an amazing person and an amazing father for Bridgette, I just never saw myself tied down to one person.  It went against everything school and my mom taught me.  It was against everything I am!

It was a very quiet ceremony, as I didn’t want anyone to know.  I just simply told Jason that I wanted to keep the ceremony private so we didn’t have to spend money on a big wedding.  We had to save all the money we could to buy a new house.  We needed to move out of the apartments to something bigger so Bridgette could have her own room.

We bought a very small two bedroom house, but it was enough for us.  It was definitely bigger than the apartments were, that’s for sure.


Everything was quiet for 15 years, and Bridgette grew to be old enough to go to high school!  My baby girl was growing up so fast on me; she’s very popular in school, and is on the gymnastics team at school.  I just hope she isn’t making herself popular the way I did when I was her age!  When I say things were quiet, I really mean they were quiet.  I had not cheated on my husband once.  Instead, I focused on Bridgette and work.  They were what kept me sane.  Inside, however, I was dying.

Bobby Phan, one of the band members, invited me over to his house to go over some lines on a new number that we were working on.  I called Jason from work to tell him that I was going to be late, and not to wait for me.  He understood completely, as he was working at the hospital and would be late himself.  He said he would call the babysitter for me.  He’s such a sweet person, and I really don’t deserve him.

I went over to Bobby’s house with my guitar and sheet music.  He went to the kitchen and came back outside with glasses of wine.  We drank, talked, and jammed out.  It all started innocently enough.  However, Diary, I don’t know exactly what happened.  Something inside me just snapped, and I was all over Bobby!

One thing soon led to another.  Diary, I’m sure you know what’s coming next.  I’m not proud of it, but I’m not too upset about it either!

It was exhilarating!  I felt alive and young again! I felt free!  The best part was, there was no strings attached with Bobby, and Jason never had to know.  Maybe I could pull this off more often!

Several weeks went by, and I got sick with the flu.  I was puking my brains everywhere.  At least, I hope this is just the flu.

Author’s Notes:  Sorry it’s so short!  But I hope the twist in here makes up for it!

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